Post by Lady Tatsh on Mar 17, 2008 13:22:23 GMT -6
As a child the room was to be the safe zone, the place of refuge. Once the monsters have confirmed their absence and the door was left a crack open one could sleep peacefully.
However as a child grows and the monsters are found to have left permanently and the hallway light is no longer needed things can change. A child grows, as all children do, but fears never leave.
I suffer from nightmares. Dreams that play hellishly on my fears and insecurities; being burned, falling, getting lost... and being alone.
I never have them when other's are around, reassured by the fact that someone is in the room with me to chase the demons away. When I am alone in my room... they have their way.
I wake in a cold sweat, scared and wishing for a hug. I'm frightened and try to rise from my cramped space to get a glass of water.
Only to find that I cannot move. Not only that, but I cannot breathe. My mind races to all horrifying conclusions, was the dream real? It takes a moment to force my body to move and realize that I am indeed in my room and that what I saw was indeed a dream.
Even if I am not a child anymore, I still have fears. I cry when I'm scared and often curl up with my cell in hand, shakily searching my contacts for who would be up at such an ungodly hour.
The list falls on a friend, one who would answer the phone to just talk at three in the morning.
I don't even have to say it, my breathing gives it away.
"Nightmare?"
A nod to no one, shakily gasping.
"It'll be all right, sweety. It was just a dream. You can cry if you want."
And cry I do, because somehow her voice makes the demons flee and the room doesn't look so scary.
"Thank you..."
However as a child grows and the monsters are found to have left permanently and the hallway light is no longer needed things can change. A child grows, as all children do, but fears never leave.
I suffer from nightmares. Dreams that play hellishly on my fears and insecurities; being burned, falling, getting lost... and being alone.
I never have them when other's are around, reassured by the fact that someone is in the room with me to chase the demons away. When I am alone in my room... they have their way.
I wake in a cold sweat, scared and wishing for a hug. I'm frightened and try to rise from my cramped space to get a glass of water.
Only to find that I cannot move. Not only that, but I cannot breathe. My mind races to all horrifying conclusions, was the dream real? It takes a moment to force my body to move and realize that I am indeed in my room and that what I saw was indeed a dream.
Even if I am not a child anymore, I still have fears. I cry when I'm scared and often curl up with my cell in hand, shakily searching my contacts for who would be up at such an ungodly hour.
The list falls on a friend, one who would answer the phone to just talk at three in the morning.
I don't even have to say it, my breathing gives it away.
"Nightmare?"
A nod to no one, shakily gasping.
"It'll be all right, sweety. It was just a dream. You can cry if you want."
And cry I do, because somehow her voice makes the demons flee and the room doesn't look so scary.
"Thank you..."
