Why does it suck?

Yaoiboy
Administrator

The greatest thing you can ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

Posts: 335

Why does it suck? Feb 26, 2009 17:29:21 GMT -6

Quote

Post by Yaoiboy on Feb 26, 2009 17:29:21 GMT -6

Sweet musk hazeing in my mind
starlight gleaming from my skin
reflecting a vision of untold sin

Narssissus flower beside the pool
young man drawn by a lovelorn nymph
bath in the mirror an end to this myth

Beauty is harkening
to beasts final cry
Love me or I surely shall die

Floating in the sea
with the moonlight over me
my sin is only for you

Groks Administrator Posts: 757	Why does it suck? Feb 27, 2009 11:56:07 GMT -6 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Groks on Feb 27, 2009 11:56:07 GMT -6 You know I love you, right?? ;D The poem doesn't suck...just needs better structure. You got the words, just need to place them better. A fair read, anyway!
	Last Edit: Mar 31, 2009 20:14:14 GMT -6 by Groks "Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it … win through, and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with." -Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Cobalt Mailman New Member "I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."~Robert Frost Posts: 6	Why does it suck? Mar 2, 2009 19:05:58 GMT -6 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Cobalt Mailman on Mar 2, 2009 19:05:58 GMT -6 I think the meaning gets lost in all the allusions. But then again, it might be just that I don't get them. I mean... it sounds cool, but I can't really apply it to anything to give it meaning.

Post by Yaoiboy on Feb 26, 2009 17:29:21 GMT -6

Post by Groks on Feb 27, 2009 11:56:07 GMT -6

Post by Cobalt Mailman on Mar 2, 2009 19:05:58 GMT -6