Post by Lady Tatsh on Sept 15, 2008 2:55:45 GMT -6
"Hey... what's your take on religion? Do you believe in what you say?"
She asked, a little hesitant, an emotion I never associated with her. She always came across as unyielding and strong... Only a few rare moments did I catch her insecurities. I answered as honestly as I could, " I do, yeah. I mean.. c'mon... The whole fourth dimension thing makes sense to me... Maybe not like Luther, but the fact that we could very well be in a game. If there was a savior who was so wonderful, he wouldn't be putting us through all this **** day after day." I say, a little bitterly. I couldn't deny that I held somewhat of a grudge for the higher-ups of this life, who doesn't nowadays?
She looked at the sky, smiling softly. "The 4D universe is made up of time and space where white, genderless beings of unfathomable beauty watch over this universe and all others..." She said almost dreamily. I giggled lightly, "Is that your theory or do I get a handout?"
She glanced at me, smiling. "That, dear, is a story for another day."
I blinked, not sure what she meant. "I'll tell you a story one day of a place where all godlike figured and deities are explained, where god is not one, but all and angels exist as both good and evil." Again I shrugged it off. "Like a bedtime story?"
She laughed, something I loved hearing. "Do you really wanna know?"
I nodded, "Yesh!"
"And you won't think I'm crazy?"
I shrugged, "No more than I already do... Of course we're both crazy in society's eyes." She looked unsure at my answer, "I'd like to hear."
She smiled, giggling. "Okay, well let's see..." She sat down on the sea wall, as did I.
"It all begins before time itself where an entity, something wise, a gathering of all spirit energy in the universe, came to be. This creature is the humans proclaimed god. It is nothing and everything, it is not a figure that aides humans nor does it give them peace in heaven. This creature, with its infinite wisdom, created a creature somehow far more powerful than itself, absorbing all the chaos and yet serenity in what was of time and space then."
I nodded, trying to understand her story.
"This new creature was told that it was eternal and would create endlessly. This creature took it upon itself to create many things; universes, times, spaces, dimensions. But it was lonely..."
I instantly felt bad for the creature.
"Because of this, it created life. It watched the things it made and smiled on occasion, but was still not happy. It set to make something that it could have as a companion since not even its creator would live eternal like itself. It set to make this new creature and after three failed attempts, it made a perfect match. A creature made from part of its own core, its eternal power. It gave the creature comfort but still it was not happy. Never to die, only to sleep, for if it died, all time and space would die with it."
I nodded, gathering the given information and forming a coherent question. "And what was this creature? Or is?"
She paused for a moment, "No one really knows. Its neither woman nor man. White skin, long dark hair and sad red eyes. It can become anything and go anywhere. It does this because it wants to find peace in some small amount but it will never be happy..."
I frowned, what a horrible bedtime story! Still, I felt a deep sadness for the creatures.
"That's so sad... I'd hate to wander endlessly and not be happy..."
"I know, right?"
There was a long pause, the two of us looking out at the scenery as we sat on the seawall. The ocean was reclaiming the land from where the militairy blocked it to build bases during a war.
"So what will happen? The eternal being has this creature... and the creator is probably gone, right? What does that make us?" I asked, still not sure about her story. I wanted to get the facts straight.
She smiled almost forlornly, the sea breeze blowing her dark hair. "Hope. Life is it's hope. Maybe one day it will find happiness. The creator is soon to die, making the creation the true everything."
Such a sad story... And yet the more I saw her talk about it the more I wondered if it was truly a story and not something more.
"It's sad that with all that power and all it wants is to find happiness..." She looked down at the tiny marine lifeforms that were scurrying below her feet.
"So... where does man come into all of this?"
She looked at me, "The creature created man to feel less lonely..."
I looked down, "Didn't do much good, did it?" Afterall, humans constantly fight over silly things, needlessly killing... How could that make anyone happy?
"It makes her smile."
Her?
I look up at the sky, "Well at least we're doing something right."
She smiled warmly. "Okay, just to recap I'm not insane and I'm not a scientologist or anything."
I snort, "You should know I don't affiliate with any real religion by now... Honestly your version makes more sense than holy carpenters or aliens." We laugh for a little while, just enjoying one another's company.
"I'd like to know how you thought of this though..." I said, still halfway laughing.
She calmed herself, "Yeah... Anyways..." She hopped off the seawall and began down the path again. I had to say something, because I knew her. And knowing her if I let the subject drop now she'd never answer.
"I don't get an answer?" She stopped, a perfect silhouette against the sunset. "It's complicated."
I pushed further, "I have time." Unlimited if it's for you.
She glanced over her shoulder back at me, "The rest is for you to decide."
Gods the way she looks... Pale skin with the sun reflecting off it, her hair tied up in a messy bun, and her eyes...
I try to recover, to put the light-hearted air back in place. "You remind me of Yoda. Just ya know... not green or hairy and you talk normal..." She turned at this, laughing. "Why do you say that?"
"Because you help me see things differently."
She smiled faintly, "I'm good at that..." Then turned back around, "Yeah... so anyways..."
"I don't think you're crazy." I said plainly, feeling she needed to hear it.
She looked at me, almost... surprised. "Why not?"
I faltered at her look, but stood my ground. "Just because you're a free thinker doesn't mean you're crazy."
She looked down sadly, "I'm not a free thinker, I just know things."
Not the reaction I wanted. I noted that I hated the look of sorrow on her face. "Let me rephrase that... Just because you don't follow society's mindset doesn't make you crazy." I recovered, trying to rid her pale face of that look.
"Again, I just know things."
I was about to give in, let her change the subject. It was like she really didn't want to talk about it, yet at the same time she did. Like it was a fear.
Then she was looking at me.
"Answer me something. What do you think of me? What do you feel in my presence?"
I was taken aback at the sudden question. What did she mean? I tried to form the words carefully, so they could be interpreted in many ways. If it was the way I thought it was, then...
I took a breath.
"I think you're a person who can see things differently. Who can honestly look back at how our kind has acted and laugh freely, knowing their stupidity. I think that you aren't afraid to look at something most agree to be the right thing and say 'C'mon, that's just stupid' and I envy that. You know things that other's don't and likewise people don't think the same, but in my opinion, if everyone thought the same then this world would be very dull..." I paused, hoping my heart would stay in it's proper place in my chest.
"I feel comfortable around you, knowing that I don't have to be afraid to say what needs to be said. I feel like I don't have to be afraid of who I am when I'm near you, and that alone instills bravery in me. You make me feel like I can do things that I would never think possible." It spilt out naturally, everything I wanted to say for the longest time flowing like the air from my lungs.
It was silent for a while, a light brush on my cheeks. She smiled. "Good, I'm glad."
Not the reaction I expected, nor the one I wanted.
I quickly amended my statement, "Besides, if you're crazy that means I'm crazy too! Cuz I agree with you!"
She laughed a little, and I wasn't sure if that was bad or not.
I blushed, "I'm not sure that was the answer you were looking for but... I tried to speak from my heart." Oh yeah, that wasn't corny at all.
Before I could realize it she was barely an arm's length from me, having closed the gap. "Do you ever feel warmth when im around even if my skin is cold?"
I blushed, was that an indication? " I'm always warm when I'm near you... whether it's a blush or just knowing you're there and you're not going to leave... It's a nice feeling, comforting..." Because I love you...
She continued, "Do my eyes scare you?" They were a nice shape, not quite almond, but not round like my own.
I shook my head, "I think your eyes are beautiful."
"Ever actually look deep inside them?" If only...
"I've tried, but I know how you are with your space... you don't like being touched." For that fact, she hated being touched. That time she hurt her feet with the shoes she was wearing and I carried her on my back for a distance... I didn't care if I couldn't feel my arms after, she was right next to me. I was touching her, and she wasn't minding... But the time she was crying and I tried to hug her, she swatted me away like I was filth. That's how she was; impossible to read.
But why now? Why did she want to know? I felt as if I'd die from anticipation.
"I've seen yours... your soul is sad."
I look up, meeting her gaze. "...really?" My soul... is sad?
She nodded, "Yeah... You want to be happy and any time you find something good you get shot down. Your soul is scarred because of it but with some kindness I think it can heal." I blushed lightly again. She had knew me for such a short time and yet she knew me like the summary on the back of her favorite book.
"... I guess it's true... With all the happiness in my life, more sorrow and disappointment came with it..." I recalled the few peaks, and how they'd quickly dissolve into sorrow, sometimes within hours.
She turned, walking ahead a little. "It's not hard to see into a person. The eyes really are windows to the soul if you look right."
I've heard the phrase many times, but never bothered to look into it.
"Just like a person's aura..." She looked over her shoulder at me. "Can you see auras?" I shook my head, stepping towards her, then standing next to her as the sun touched the horizon. "I can see them, and feel them."
I remembered how a friend of mine told me about auras, how they were different colors...
"Did you know they sing?" She asked, looking up at me.
"No... I didn't..."
"All life is a chorus of emotion and energy. If you try, you can change the tune yours sings." I thought on this for a moment. Souls singing? I had never heard of such a thing...
"What... What kind of song does mine sing?" I asked, almost timidly.
She didn't even hesitate to answer, "Soft, a little meek... Its afraid to sing loudly so it curls up against you and refuses to come out in full bloom." I thought to myself how it figured... "When you're home, that is. It needs coaxing. I see it sing happily here." Because of you...
"What does all this mean...?" I finally managed out after a few seconds of not breathing.
She shrugged, "I dunno..." a giggle, "It just seemed right to tell you." and a few steps ahead, walking down the gravel path along the seawall.
"You're making my heart race." I said bluntly, almost pouting.
"I know." She said in response.
I blinked, "You know?"
"Yeah."
I stood for a moment as she walked away. "You're blushing right now." She said, without even looking.
"H-how did you know that?!" And if I wasn't before, I was then.
"I just do." She said calmly. I caught up to her, then matched my pace to her's. "Why are you telling me all this...?" I asked a little nervously.
Again she shrugged, "I dunno. Seemed like a good idea at the time."
Another silence. "I feel... closer to you somehow." I said, somewhat awkwardly. She glanced at me, "Can I ask why?"
I bit my lip, "I feel like you've opened up to me... even if it's just a little bit..."
She smirked at this, "I think I'm beginning to trust you more..." Then she giggled, "Social Link level up for you~!" She said, a joke we understood.
I laughed, and she did too... Something I thought sounded better than any soul singing in full bloom. "Took long enough. I wonder what arcana I am..."
She smiled, "Who knows...?"
((and that's all for now. I wrote this all in one sitting, and my bum hurts. I'll write more later.))
She asked, a little hesitant, an emotion I never associated with her. She always came across as unyielding and strong... Only a few rare moments did I catch her insecurities. I answered as honestly as I could, " I do, yeah. I mean.. c'mon... The whole fourth dimension thing makes sense to me... Maybe not like Luther, but the fact that we could very well be in a game. If there was a savior who was so wonderful, he wouldn't be putting us through all this **** day after day." I say, a little bitterly. I couldn't deny that I held somewhat of a grudge for the higher-ups of this life, who doesn't nowadays?
She looked at the sky, smiling softly. "The 4D universe is made up of time and space where white, genderless beings of unfathomable beauty watch over this universe and all others..." She said almost dreamily. I giggled lightly, "Is that your theory or do I get a handout?"
She glanced at me, smiling. "That, dear, is a story for another day."
I blinked, not sure what she meant. "I'll tell you a story one day of a place where all godlike figured and deities are explained, where god is not one, but all and angels exist as both good and evil." Again I shrugged it off. "Like a bedtime story?"
She laughed, something I loved hearing. "Do you really wanna know?"
I nodded, "Yesh!"
"And you won't think I'm crazy?"
I shrugged, "No more than I already do... Of course we're both crazy in society's eyes." She looked unsure at my answer, "I'd like to hear."
She smiled, giggling. "Okay, well let's see..." She sat down on the sea wall, as did I.
"It all begins before time itself where an entity, something wise, a gathering of all spirit energy in the universe, came to be. This creature is the humans proclaimed god. It is nothing and everything, it is not a figure that aides humans nor does it give them peace in heaven. This creature, with its infinite wisdom, created a creature somehow far more powerful than itself, absorbing all the chaos and yet serenity in what was of time and space then."
I nodded, trying to understand her story.
"This new creature was told that it was eternal and would create endlessly. This creature took it upon itself to create many things; universes, times, spaces, dimensions. But it was lonely..."
I instantly felt bad for the creature.
"Because of this, it created life. It watched the things it made and smiled on occasion, but was still not happy. It set to make something that it could have as a companion since not even its creator would live eternal like itself. It set to make this new creature and after three failed attempts, it made a perfect match. A creature made from part of its own core, its eternal power. It gave the creature comfort but still it was not happy. Never to die, only to sleep, for if it died, all time and space would die with it."
I nodded, gathering the given information and forming a coherent question. "And what was this creature? Or is?"
She paused for a moment, "No one really knows. Its neither woman nor man. White skin, long dark hair and sad red eyes. It can become anything and go anywhere. It does this because it wants to find peace in some small amount but it will never be happy..."
I frowned, what a horrible bedtime story! Still, I felt a deep sadness for the creatures.
"That's so sad... I'd hate to wander endlessly and not be happy..."
"I know, right?"
There was a long pause, the two of us looking out at the scenery as we sat on the seawall. The ocean was reclaiming the land from where the militairy blocked it to build bases during a war.
"So what will happen? The eternal being has this creature... and the creator is probably gone, right? What does that make us?" I asked, still not sure about her story. I wanted to get the facts straight.
She smiled almost forlornly, the sea breeze blowing her dark hair. "Hope. Life is it's hope. Maybe one day it will find happiness. The creator is soon to die, making the creation the true everything."
Such a sad story... And yet the more I saw her talk about it the more I wondered if it was truly a story and not something more.
"It's sad that with all that power and all it wants is to find happiness..." She looked down at the tiny marine lifeforms that were scurrying below her feet.
"So... where does man come into all of this?"
She looked at me, "The creature created man to feel less lonely..."
I looked down, "Didn't do much good, did it?" Afterall, humans constantly fight over silly things, needlessly killing... How could that make anyone happy?
"It makes her smile."
Her?
I look up at the sky, "Well at least we're doing something right."
She smiled warmly. "Okay, just to recap I'm not insane and I'm not a scientologist or anything."
I snort, "You should know I don't affiliate with any real religion by now... Honestly your version makes more sense than holy carpenters or aliens." We laugh for a little while, just enjoying one another's company.
"I'd like to know how you thought of this though..." I said, still halfway laughing.
She calmed herself, "Yeah... Anyways..." She hopped off the seawall and began down the path again. I had to say something, because I knew her. And knowing her if I let the subject drop now she'd never answer.
"I don't get an answer?" She stopped, a perfect silhouette against the sunset. "It's complicated."
I pushed further, "I have time." Unlimited if it's for you.
She glanced over her shoulder back at me, "The rest is for you to decide."
Gods the way she looks... Pale skin with the sun reflecting off it, her hair tied up in a messy bun, and her eyes...
I try to recover, to put the light-hearted air back in place. "You remind me of Yoda. Just ya know... not green or hairy and you talk normal..." She turned at this, laughing. "Why do you say that?"
"Because you help me see things differently."
She smiled faintly, "I'm good at that..." Then turned back around, "Yeah... so anyways..."
"I don't think you're crazy." I said plainly, feeling she needed to hear it.
She looked at me, almost... surprised. "Why not?"
I faltered at her look, but stood my ground. "Just because you're a free thinker doesn't mean you're crazy."
She looked down sadly, "I'm not a free thinker, I just know things."
Not the reaction I wanted. I noted that I hated the look of sorrow on her face. "Let me rephrase that... Just because you don't follow society's mindset doesn't make you crazy." I recovered, trying to rid her pale face of that look.
"Again, I just know things."
I was about to give in, let her change the subject. It was like she really didn't want to talk about it, yet at the same time she did. Like it was a fear.
Then she was looking at me.
"Answer me something. What do you think of me? What do you feel in my presence?"
I was taken aback at the sudden question. What did she mean? I tried to form the words carefully, so they could be interpreted in many ways. If it was the way I thought it was, then...
I took a breath.
"I think you're a person who can see things differently. Who can honestly look back at how our kind has acted and laugh freely, knowing their stupidity. I think that you aren't afraid to look at something most agree to be the right thing and say 'C'mon, that's just stupid' and I envy that. You know things that other's don't and likewise people don't think the same, but in my opinion, if everyone thought the same then this world would be very dull..." I paused, hoping my heart would stay in it's proper place in my chest.
"I feel comfortable around you, knowing that I don't have to be afraid to say what needs to be said. I feel like I don't have to be afraid of who I am when I'm near you, and that alone instills bravery in me. You make me feel like I can do things that I would never think possible." It spilt out naturally, everything I wanted to say for the longest time flowing like the air from my lungs.
It was silent for a while, a light brush on my cheeks. She smiled. "Good, I'm glad."
Not the reaction I expected, nor the one I wanted.
I quickly amended my statement, "Besides, if you're crazy that means I'm crazy too! Cuz I agree with you!"
She laughed a little, and I wasn't sure if that was bad or not.
I blushed, "I'm not sure that was the answer you were looking for but... I tried to speak from my heart." Oh yeah, that wasn't corny at all.
Before I could realize it she was barely an arm's length from me, having closed the gap. "Do you ever feel warmth when im around even if my skin is cold?"
I blushed, was that an indication? " I'm always warm when I'm near you... whether it's a blush or just knowing you're there and you're not going to leave... It's a nice feeling, comforting..." Because I love you...
She continued, "Do my eyes scare you?" They were a nice shape, not quite almond, but not round like my own.
I shook my head, "I think your eyes are beautiful."
"Ever actually look deep inside them?" If only...
"I've tried, but I know how you are with your space... you don't like being touched." For that fact, she hated being touched. That time she hurt her feet with the shoes she was wearing and I carried her on my back for a distance... I didn't care if I couldn't feel my arms after, she was right next to me. I was touching her, and she wasn't minding... But the time she was crying and I tried to hug her, she swatted me away like I was filth. That's how she was; impossible to read.
But why now? Why did she want to know? I felt as if I'd die from anticipation.
"I've seen yours... your soul is sad."
I look up, meeting her gaze. "...really?" My soul... is sad?
She nodded, "Yeah... You want to be happy and any time you find something good you get shot down. Your soul is scarred because of it but with some kindness I think it can heal." I blushed lightly again. She had knew me for such a short time and yet she knew me like the summary on the back of her favorite book.
"... I guess it's true... With all the happiness in my life, more sorrow and disappointment came with it..." I recalled the few peaks, and how they'd quickly dissolve into sorrow, sometimes within hours.
She turned, walking ahead a little. "It's not hard to see into a person. The eyes really are windows to the soul if you look right."
I've heard the phrase many times, but never bothered to look into it.
"Just like a person's aura..." She looked over her shoulder at me. "Can you see auras?" I shook my head, stepping towards her, then standing next to her as the sun touched the horizon. "I can see them, and feel them."
I remembered how a friend of mine told me about auras, how they were different colors...
"Did you know they sing?" She asked, looking up at me.
"No... I didn't..."
"All life is a chorus of emotion and energy. If you try, you can change the tune yours sings." I thought on this for a moment. Souls singing? I had never heard of such a thing...
"What... What kind of song does mine sing?" I asked, almost timidly.
She didn't even hesitate to answer, "Soft, a little meek... Its afraid to sing loudly so it curls up against you and refuses to come out in full bloom." I thought to myself how it figured... "When you're home, that is. It needs coaxing. I see it sing happily here." Because of you...
"What does all this mean...?" I finally managed out after a few seconds of not breathing.
She shrugged, "I dunno..." a giggle, "It just seemed right to tell you." and a few steps ahead, walking down the gravel path along the seawall.
"You're making my heart race." I said bluntly, almost pouting.
"I know." She said in response.
I blinked, "You know?"
"Yeah."
I stood for a moment as she walked away. "You're blushing right now." She said, without even looking.
"H-how did you know that?!" And if I wasn't before, I was then.
"I just do." She said calmly. I caught up to her, then matched my pace to her's. "Why are you telling me all this...?" I asked a little nervously.
Again she shrugged, "I dunno. Seemed like a good idea at the time."
Another silence. "I feel... closer to you somehow." I said, somewhat awkwardly. She glanced at me, "Can I ask why?"
I bit my lip, "I feel like you've opened up to me... even if it's just a little bit..."
She smirked at this, "I think I'm beginning to trust you more..." Then she giggled, "Social Link level up for you~!" She said, a joke we understood.
I laughed, and she did too... Something I thought sounded better than any soul singing in full bloom. "Took long enough. I wonder what arcana I am..."
She smiled, "Who knows...?"
((and that's all for now. I wrote this all in one sitting, and my bum hurts. I'll write more later.))
