Tatsh's Happy Angry Fun Time

[Lady Tatsh]

So I lost my job.
Yaaaaaaaay yay...

My reaction was what one would expect, I was upset, a left the premise immediately, and screamed to the radio on the way home.
When I got home, I cried. You couldn't hear it because I had Addictive Epicurean full blast on my stereo, but I was crying.

Now, my mother, you'd think she comfort me, right?
No, she pretty much just told me I sucked at life. After 12 weeks with no job, I was happy to have one again. Even if it was a lot of physical labor, it was a job. A frikken income.
"I'd rather you have a job where you make 16 an hour than a job where you only make 8"
Okay, so after not having a job for close to 4 months, I'm supposed to be picky?
First off, I tried damn hard to get hired EVERYWHERE. Interviews, phonecalls, endless 'polite' turndowns. All the while my family treating me like crap for not having a job yet.
About the only support I got was from En, who was pissed they let me go. See, the plan was to save up money with this job. Once I got around 5-7k, I'd hop a plane to California to be En and Copper's room mate. They wanted me to live with them, and seeing how the family Blacksheep position is taken up by me, I jumped at the op.
A place I was wanted and wouldn't be a burden... paradise.
Well, I lost my job. The plan has gone down the drain, and all the other plans I made realistically will not happen.
So, my wonderful plans got blasted away, and thus I'm depressed.
My mother seems to think it's so easy to get a job. She's had several in the last four years. She has the luxury of holding management positions, so it's much easier for her to get new jobs and move on. Me, on the other hand, worked part-time retail and warehouse. I don't have that luxury.
Today, my light was going to be dance practice with Groks and Roxie. It's about the only thing I had to look forward to this weekend, seeing as my previous plans to visit an old friend was ruined by the lack of funds. But again, mother had to ruin it for me. Telling me I couldn't be out running around for "stupid things".
"I made a commitment!"
"Well, you shouldn't have."
Sure, I knew last week that I was going to be unemployed this week, so I shouldn't have made any plans. Yeah, that's right. We'll go with that.
Things just keep adding up.
My first, and last, paycheck won't be ready for me until next Friday. I have a car insurance payment due, which will eat up most of that, and then I still have to pay for gas. Simply put, unless I get a job RIGHT NOW I'm not going to have enough to even afford to keep the car.
So, I'm pretty much screwed.
I'd like to thank my mother for showing "sympathy", my Step-dad for "understanding", my sister for her "empathy".
Thanks mom for making me feel like worse than crap when I already felt like crap.
Thanks Ken for being a royal arse about the internet, thinking that you have to keep codes hidden from me in order to keep them safe from everyone.
Thanks Macy, for being a beetch to me about you getting written up at one of your jobs, and showing no such care about me losing the only job I have.

And to others; Thanks Grandma for lying to me. You could've just said you didn't want me living there in the first place and I would've stayed in California.
Thanks Family for making me feel inadequate in everything I do. Sorry I can't make cheersquad. Sorry I can't be a manager at JCPenny. Sorry I can't be the wonderful child I want me to be.

Sorry for existing the way that I do.

[Groks]

Awwww....(gives Lady Tatsh a big cyberhug). At the risk of sounding slightly religious, Roxie and I will pray for you. Speaking of which, today I just decided to not worry about our dance performance. If it comes together, great. If not, at least Roxie and I can do the short version, if not you, too. Hang in there, things will get better. They always do.

[Roxie]

Awwww Jourdan ;-; *huggles* Things'll get better!

[Tanzy!]

I know that off the computer, I don't know you, but hey ^^ friends are friends and I promise that my words won't be empty.

I haven't known you for very long and haven't really talked to you much, but when I saw this, I was concerned and thought that I'd pitch in my heart filled attempt at comfort. It's really unfortunate that your family is like that in terms of sympathy toward you. Actually, when I read that, I found it hard to believe that people like that can treat their own children like that. It's just awful, but its times like these where you have to continue being strong. Somehow, some way, there will be a window of opportunity and the chance to pull through shall show itself.

For now, with support and love from the family you never had, your nearest and dearest friends, it's clear to see they'll be there for you in this time of need. Sometimes, it's not easy to muster up the words `It'll be alright` because really, it may not seem like it right now, but that's the desire of the heart when those words are spoken in a truthful manner. That things will be alright for you, some how some way, that the best is being wished upon you. No matter how bad the family situation is, no matter what negative words are drilled into your mind, you are a great and caring person. You've come to people in their times of need and helped them cope with the hell they may be suffering.

Big and small problems are bound to happen, but they're trials to overcome. When you acquire victory, that'll help you grow and become stronger. I know it's tough right now and things may look bleak, but I believe in you and your ability to succeed. Prayers and wishes of good will are with you. With every fiber of my being, I too hope for the absolute best and that you'll make it through this, and other times of misfortune.

Like Groks and Roxie, my prayers are with you as well ^^

Take much care!

-Tanzy